One week in

A

week ago, it was my birthday. And my first day as a diagnosed ADHDer. I could scarcely believe it when lovely psychiatrist said “yes, you do have symptoms of ADHD, I’d like to try you on some medication”. It was immediately unexpected and completely unsurprising… I wasn’t just a “totally useless human”. 

ADHD is rather a misnomer. I don’t have a deficit of attention, I have plenty of it, I just can’t focus it in the right place. It should be called DDHD - dopamine deficit hyperactivity disorder! 

Things I’ve learned in my first week:

1. Lack of dopamine can cause physical pain. This explains so much! Most days I have muscle and joint pain for no reason.
2. Clumsiness is next to godliness. The fact that I constantly drop things, trip over things, and get my feet caught in the wires under my feet is directly related to ADHD.
3. I have ALWAYS been this way. ADHD is a lifelong neurodevelopmental disorder. I have spent my entire life trying to fit into a world designed for neurotypical people. I’ve been a square peg in a round hole. The diagnosis is backdated… like PPI!
4. It’s going to be ok. I told my manager that I have ADHD and she asked for a chat. She was SO understanding and kind. I told her I have problems with organisation and timekeeping and she said “you don’t come across that way at all”. I said, “if I appear organised, it’s because I’ve worked so so hard to make it work”…. (I’ve been having coaching from Access to Work) And then she said…”you don’t come across as organised; you ARE organised!”…